Well hello there, blog! Do you remember me? Yeah, I know, I’m a bit of a stranger here. I’m sorry, and I hope you’re okay with me walking in here and chatting away like I have the right to do so after 9.5 months.
I’m sitting at a local coffee shop, sipping away at a harvest latte (maple, gingerbread, and cinnamon!) after getting a haircut. Not a Starbucks, but a local little shop where you drink out of actual mugs, and your lattes come complete with latte art. I do not do these two things with any form of regularity, but honestly, I wish I did. My last haircut was in May. Aren’t you supposed to get trims 4 times a year? I am at least 2 months overdue for a pedicure. Why is it that things that I love to do to treat myself, things that are in the actual budget and I have full permission to do on a regular basis are things that always get pushed to the back burner?
…and in the midst of what? Me working for myself? A schedule I set for myself? What is it about these things, salon trips, and solo dates to work at a coffee shop, are things that are so easy to let slide, especially when I have always been a “spoil me” type?
For those of you who aren’t up to date, this summer and fall have been a major season of transformation and transition for me, not because of any major life event, but because I finally made the decision to change some things about how I was treating myself, physically, mentally, and emotionally. How did I do that?
Well, to the surprise of everyone, including myself, instead of leaning into fitness and weight loss and everything else that most of us do when we are itching for a physical transformation, I instead felt called (after I made a public declaration stating the contrary, of course) to let dieting and diet culture go all together and embrace a lifestyle of intuitive eating. This happened right before the start of July and it has started a transformation I honestly didn’t see coming.
First, there was the logistical side of things, stop tracking my food, no more weighing and measuring my food, etc. Then, there’s the side of learning how to listen to my hunger signals and satisfaction signals as indicators of when and how much to eat rather than allowing a tracker or a clock to do that. That’s followed by body acceptance, weight acceptance, and all of the other work that has to happen mentally to make intuitive eating a thing.
I’m doing really well with all of this, but embracing intuitive eating, it turns out, only scratched the surface of the transformation that would follow. I’ve started passing on dessert in the evening. I don’t feel compelled to get a Crumbl cookie whenever I’m near one or buy a gourmet cupcake every time I go to the fancy grocery store. I can decide to eat breakfast at 6:30 am or 10:30 am based on what my body is saying.
but wait, there’s more…
I’ve stopped pressuring myself to do workouts I don’t want to do deep down in my gut. I meant to start weightlifting again when fall started, but you know what? It hasn’t felt right. Instead, I am enjoying walking outside, using my elliptical, and occasionally doing a few weight-lifting sets only when my body feels like it.
Instead of shooting for my perfect wake-up time, aiming for 5:30-6 am on the weekdays (which was again, a goal I had already proclaimed), I am allowing myself a wake window from any time between 5:30-7:30 depending on what my body says it needs. Some days, I drink coffee before eating food, some days I eat first. Some days, I walk a mile, others I go for a 5k.
I started wearing crop tops this summer. I bought a few things in a size L, because for those articles of clothing that’s the size that fits me now, and I am embracing my body as it is now! I bought Haagen Das ice cream bars, which is something I’ve never done because Heaven forbid an ice cream bar be almost 300 calories. I recently ate no less than 7 times in one day because my body kept saying it was hungry and rather than trying to blunt it with coffee or fizzy water or 0 Point foods, I decided to honor that hunger.
Want to know what has happened because of these shifts? I would love to tell you!
- Over these almost 4 months my scale went down 5lbs, went back up, stabilized within the same 2 pounds for WEEKS, and is now slowly, but steadily, on the way back down. Without tracking a bite.
- I’m losing inches around my waist and thighs. Without tracking a bite!
- Clothes that didn’t fit me great this time last year (when I was tracking and trying to lose weight) fit me better now.
- I have more energy
- My body isn’t as sore and isn’t as tight
- My body confidence is the highest it’s been in years
- My overall level of stress and anxiety has plummeted and my overall joy in life is high
I’m sure there’s more, but you get the idea. The best part is this is still just the beginning of this transformation. This is the beginning of me showing up in the way that I was always meant to show up, both for myself and for others. This is the beginning of me working my tail off Tuesday-Thursday so I can take most Mondays and Fridays off to do whatever I want. This is the beginning of me taking myself on solo dates to coffee shops or wherever else I want to go, sometimes to work in a different setting, like today, and others, maybe to see a friend, or read a book.
This is the beginning of me getting back to the things that make me feel pretty on a regular basis. Pedicures, changing up my nail polish more frequently, haircuts more frequently than 2x per year, putting on actual outfits and doing my makeup instead of spending my day in sweats.
Because I am worth it.
Imagine how we would all show up in the world if we took the time to do what made us light up. How would you show up if you were already treating yourself like the queen you are? How much better would you serve your family and community when you feel vibrant and fulfilled?
You see, some will see this and think that this sounds selfish, but really, showing up for yourself isn’t selfish, it’s essential. Don’t believe me? Try it.
..and with that, the blog is back 😀